Saturday, April 01, 2006
I would just slip her some kind of sleeping pill at lunchtime, then fuck her once she's konked out.
Forget the relationship completely....just bang bang bang then run your ass off before she wakes up.
Steal My Bagels: okay
Steal My Bagels: amy
amy did not say: okay
amy did not say: mat
Steal My Bagels: best friend to best friend here
amy did not say: yes?
Steal My Bagels: whats the key to scoring
amy did not say: hahahaha
Steal My Bagels: you know there's an actual way that will always work
Steal My Bagels: but girls won't say
Steal My Bagels: what is it?
amy did not say: hmm
amy did not say: well the way that will ALWAYS work involves drugs/alcohol
amy did not say: hahaha
Steal My Bagels: hahahah
amy did not say: the other ones take time and lots of getting-to-know-you shit
<@Synthrev> Ramen...coke is for pussies
<@th0m> no, that's *cock*
<@zybl0re> get up
<@zybl0re> get on up
<@zybl0re> get up
<@zybl0re> get on up
<@phxl|paper> and DANCE
* nmp3bot dances :D-< * nmp3bot dances :D|-< * nmp3bot dances :D/-< <@[SA]HatfulOfHollow> i'm going to become rich and famous after i invent a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet
<@guo_si> Hey, you know what sucks?
<@thexphial> vaccuums
<@guo_si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
<@thexphial> black holes
<@guo_si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
<@thexphial> lava?
<@anamexis> oh man
<@anamexis> I was opening a coke, right
--> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind
<@anamexis> and it exploded
<@anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard
<@anamexis> but I got it away just in time
<-- Beefpile has quit (sick fuckers)
<@anamexis>
:< lol
<@nes> I download something from Napster
<@nes> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done
<@nes> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"
<@nes> "getting my song back fucker"
<@i8b4uunderground> d-_-b
<@bonynomore> how u make that inverted b?
<@bonynomore> wait
<@bonynomore> never mind
<@jeebus> the "bishop" came to our church today
<@jeebus> he was a fucken impostor
<@jeebus> never once moved diagonally
<@th3no0b> Im going to be the next hitler
<@th3no0b> Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
<@rageagainsttheamish> why the clown
<@th3no0b> See? no one cares about the jews
<@rageagainsttheamish> lmao
<@glome> Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?!
<@content> glome stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
<@glome> Who me?!
<@content> Yes you!
<@glome> Couldn't be!
<@content> Then WHO?!!
<@glome> Woody stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
*** glome has been kicked by DrWoody (fuck you i didn't touch the motherfucking cookie, bitch)
<@fulgore> whats the complement to a 43 degree angle?
<@sparks> My you're looking "acute" today
<@fulgore> fuck you
Primus521: hey dude the funniest thing happened to me today
Primus521: im at walmart and this chick is buying a box of tampons and they are missing the upc and wont ring up
Primus521: so the cashier tells his buddy to get a price check on tampax
Primus521: the dude looks at him and says, "the kind u push in, or the kind you hammer in?"
Primus521: lol
Primus521: turns out he misheard him
Primus521: he thought he said thumbtacs
Primus521: you should have seen the look on the chicks face
Primus521: omfg
Primus521: til the day i die
Primus521: i will never forget it
<@Chin^> My sister caught me jacking off the other week and calls me a pervert
<@Chin^> just the other day i walked into my room and caught my sister masturbating
<@Chin^> So she calls me a pervert again?!?
<@Chin^> there is no justice in the world...
<@kyourek> There was a 23% drop in temperature.
<@nappyjallapy> That's almost 25%!
<@kyourek> ... That was one of the most worthless comments I've ever heard.
Jakefeb3: do you know a turtles only weakness?
AvatarOfSolusek: no
AvatarOfSolusek: well
AvatarOfSolusek: thier slowness
Jakefeb3: there weakness is they cant roll over when they are on their backs
AvatarOfSolusek: lol
Jakefeb3: now i have a plan
Jakefeb3: if i duck tape 2 turtles together they are unstoppable
<@samsim> I heard about this guy who broke into a lion's den at the zoo
<@samsim> and got mauled
<@samsim> and people were talking about how there should have been better defences put up to prevent people getting into the cage
<@samsim> a friend of mine suggested setting up some kind of deterrent
<@samsim> for example, putting some sort of fierce animal in the cage, which would attack anybody who climbed in
<@cobra> so i was watching a pr0n
<@thunder> wait
<@thunder> why u guys always say pr0n instead of porn ??
Thunder has been kicked by Guardian (No porn on this channel !)
<@cobra> ...
<@cobra> so i was watching a pr0n
<@JonJonB> Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book
<@JonJonB> Let's see the results...
<@JonJonB> "Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
<@JonJonB> "Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything
<@JonJonB> A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.
<@JonJonB> "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
<@JonJonB> "Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "
<@JonJonB> Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls
<@JonJonB> "Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"
<@JonJonB> The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.
<@JonJonB> He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.
<@JonJonB> He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.
<@JonJonB> Ok
<@JonJonB> I have found, definitive proof
<@JonJonB> that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all
<@JonJonB> "Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
<@melusine > O_______O
<@JonJonB> Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang
<@JonJonJonB> Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.
<@JonJonJonB> 'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.
thankyou.
4:19:00 AM